Awww, here it goes.

Stefanie l 21 l Bay Area l Food l Nursing l Friends&Family

  • iPhone user: I'm so excited to get the iPhone 6
  • Android user: Why do people with iPhones think they're so much better than everyone else
  • iPhone user: I just like this pho-
  • Android user: The Samsung Anus5000 had that screen *snort* like 2 years ago! *glomping noise* How are you enjoying 2012 you mindless sheeple?? *uses inhaler to suppress incoming asthma attack*

mexicanfood420:

givemesomeknope:

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Some

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BODY

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if i don’t reblog this everyday assume i’m dead

(Source: b0ni, via shotsfuckingfired)

horror movie opening scene

  • white girl: i dont like this abandoned insane asylum, zack.
  • white boy: come on, amanda, 10 years ago tonight, the famous blood skull killer committed his last murder right here and then vanished.
  • white girl: you're just trying to scare me.
  • white boy: lmao
  • they continue walking for a few seconds
  • *white couple hears noise*
  • white girl: babe what that??
  • white boy: i'll go investigate
  • *leaves her alone*
  • *choking noises*
  • white girl: zack!!!
  • white boy: ha ha just kidding!
  • white girl: asshole!
  • white boy: im just playin babe
  • white girl: that wasnt funny but ur still cute
  • *playful kiss*
  • *things turn sexy*
  • *hear noise*
  • white boy: i'll go investigate
  • *he leaves and then there's a silence for a long time*
  • *maybe a thud*
  • white girl: zack! this isnt funny anymore zack!
  • *she walks and he dead*
  • white girl: ahhh!!
  • *killer shows up with sickle or quirky weapon that distinguishes him from other horror movie villains*
  • white girl: ahhh!!!
  • *white girl runs*
  • *dead end*
  • *hides*
  • *thinks she free n safe*
  • *guy catches her*
  • *cuts her*
  • *she dead*
  • opening title slashes across screen: BLOOD SLICE IN 3-D

What is the difference? I asked him. Between the love of your life, and your soulmate?

One is a choice, and one is not.

Tarryn Fisher (in Mud Vein)

Hmmm…

(via poeticallyhighdreams)

(Source: psych-facts, via shotsfuckingfired)

top-model:

damn, tyra. you might as well just write “i fuckin hate u” on the paper and give her that.

top-model:

damn, tyra. you might as well just write “i fuckin hate u” on the paper and give her that.

(via shotsfuckingfired)

Take off your boots, babe,
swing your thigh over mine. I like it
when you do the same old thing
in the same old way.
And then a few kisses, easy, loose,
like the ones we’ve been
kissing for a hundred years.
— A poem from Like A Beggar by Ellen Bass, reviewed by Julie R. Enszer. (via therumpus)

(via empressfab)

titytwochainz:

when u aint have ur phone for a long time and expect to come back to come back to hella notifications but remember u lame

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(Source: kngshxt, via kingsleyyy)

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